great magicians

great magicians
Three world famous magicians were in the bar drinking and boasting abouttheir achievements.
The first one said," During my latest show, I made three women from theaudience disappear, it was so convincing that their relatives startedpanicking, no one could find the trick"
The second one said, " Hey, that is nothing, during one of my open airshows I made the Municipality building disappear and the entire town wassearching for it"
The third one sighed and said," Both of you are so local, I went to Parisand made the Eiffel Tower disappear for a full one hour, it was live on theTV, entire France was searching for the building & no one had a clue".
Just then an Indian walked into the bar and the three magicians suddenlyturned quiet, gave each other fugitive glances and started to slip towardsthe door.
A Bartender watching this got curious and asked one of the magicians, "Heywhat happened ? Who is that guy ? "
One of the magicians whispered, " He is the World's greatest magician, hehas done the biggest disappearing trick of all times, we are all mereamateurs compared with what he has done. His name is Ramalinga Raju. He hasmade USD 1.5 billion disappear from his company's balance sheet in front ofeveryone's eyes, and the entire world is still looking for it "

17 SIGNS OF FALLING IN LOVE

SEVENTEEN:
U LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY

SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU
STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES AGO.

FIFTEEN:
YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM

THIRTEEN:
YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY' RE AROUND.

ELEVEN:
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE
SAME TIME

TEN:
YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.

NINE:
WHEN YOU lOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All
YOU SEE IS HIM//HER.

EIGHT:
YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS, WHILE THINKING OF THEM

SEVEN:
THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.

SIX:
YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.

FIVE:
YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU'RE AlWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK
ABOUT THEM.

FOUR:
YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.

THREE:
WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...

TWO:
YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THAT PERSON, YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER
TWELVE.

ONE:
YOU JUST SCROLLED UP TO CHECK & ARE NOW SILENTLY LAUGHING AT YOURSELF.

 

 

IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER 12, POST THIS AS: "17 signs of falling in
LOVE."

AND THE PERSON WHO WAS IN UR MIND IS UR LOVE.. IT'S TRU, WHETHER U
BELIEVE IT OR NOT.. SO GO & TELL THAT PERSON THAT HOW MUCH U LOVE HIM/HER,
IF U HAVN'T TOLD YET.... ALL D BEST 4 UR LUV LIFE..

 

 

 

Different types of Marketting

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very rich.
"Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing..."

 

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and
pointing at you says: "He's very rich.
"Marry him." -That's Advertising..."

 

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and get her telephone number. The next day, you
call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.
"Marry me - That's Telemarketing..."

 

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up
and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour
her a drink, you open the door (of the car)"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations..."

 

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and says:"You are very rich!
"Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition..."

 

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you
a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback..."

 

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she
introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap..."

 

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say anything, another person come
and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she
goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share..."

 

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your
wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets..."

 

Continue reading....

 

 

Gibraltar's airport just have look

Gibraltar's airport

 

 

 

 

Have u ever seen the calendar for September 1752

 

If you are working in Unix, try this out. At $ prompt, type: cal 9 1752 Surprised??? ?

Not only in UNIX, u can also search it in google
 
A month with whole of eleven days missing - This was the time England shifted from Roman Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar, and the king of England ordered those 11 days to be wiped off the face of the month of September of 1752. (What couldn't a King do in those days?!) And yes, the workers worked for 11 days less, but got paid for the entire 30 days. And that's how "Paid Leave" was born. Hail the King!!!

The World's First Flying Hotel

 

 

 

 

The Hotelicopter features 18 luxuriously-appointed rooms for adrenaline junkies seeking a truly unique and memorable travel experience.
Each soundproofed room is equipped with a queen-sized bed, fine linens, a mini-bar, coffee machine, wireless internet access, and all the luxurious appointments you'd expect from a flying five star hotel. Room service is available one hour after liftoff and prior to landing." The Hotelicopter is due to fly maiden journey this summer(June 26th) with an undisclosed price...
If you are interested,There is three fly tour.

Inaugural Summer Tour - 14 days (Friday, June 26th, 2009 - Friday, July 10th, 2009)

California Tour - 14 days (Friday, July 17th, 2009 to Friday, July 24rd, 2009)
Bay/Jamaica, European Tour - 16 days (Friday, July 31st, 2009 to Sunday, August 16th, 2009)

 

 

 

18+ Funny SMS

Husband:- ne sasural me biwi se : chalo sex karte hain
Biwi : nahi ye mere baap ka ghar hai
Husband :- tho kya mere baap ka ghar red light area hai jo to roz
Taiyar ho jati hai.

 
Sardar go 4 sex with wife
Wife – please aaj mat karo, mera upwas hai..
Sardar gusse se => bhenchod mere l**d pe kya aata laga hai,
Jo upwas tut jayega >

Suhagrat ko pati ne patni se pucha " kya mehsus kar rahi ho ?"
Patni = aaj tak top_up me kam chalet the aaj se life time karwa liya.
 
Hone wali bahu ko dekhne aaye sasur ne kaha beti chai aati hai.
Ladki boli chutiye mujhe abhi tak dudh nahi aata. Chai kya ghanta aayegi

Ek budha blue film dekhte huyejor se haath ko jatka dene laga
Ladka- kya hua baba ?
Baba- kya hona hai, 30 saal bad khada hua tho
Aaj haath so gaya..
 
 
Sardar : aaj ghr jate hi biwi ki chaddi utarunga.
Dost : aaj bade mood me ho ?
Sardar : ghanta bhenchod, bahut tight hai yaar,
Subah galti se biwi ki pehan li thi.

Ques : shadi me dulhe ke saath
Baarati kyun jate hain ? ? ?
Ans :- kyunki bade kehte hain ki kisiki khushi mein
Jao na jao par musibat me zarur jana chahiye..
 
 
 
Sex ke baad aurat aadmi se boli :-tumari bansuri bahut he choti
Hai, Aadmi ne bola _ mujhe thodi pata tha ke, town-hall'
Me bajani hai

Lady – shoes dikhaiye.
Shopkeeper :- kitne number ka ?
Lady – 36 no.
Shopkeeper :- jaao madam jaao, ghar se soch kar nikla karo
Kyalena hai…

Abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,
Khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,
Khushiyaan kuchh yun umad rahin thi,
Ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi ..
Subah subah madam ka chai Le kar aana
Thoda sharmate huye humein neend se jagana,
Wo pyaar bhara hath hamare baalon mein phirana,
Muskurate huye kehna ki..
Darling chai to pi lo, Jaldi se ready ho jao, Aap ko office bhi hai jaana.
Gharwali bhagwan ka roop Le kar aayee thi,
Dil aur dimag par poori tarah chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete they to naam usee ka hota tha,
I pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha..

 

 

 

A Whisper

Whispers

The man whispered, "God, speak to me"
and a meadowlark sang.

But, the man did not hear.

So the man yelled, "God, speak to me"
and the thunder rolled across the sky.

But, the man did not listen.

The man looked around and said,
"God let me see you."
And a star shined brightly.

But the man did not see.

And, the man shouted,
"God show me a miracle."
And, a life was born.

But, the man did not notice.

So, the man cried out in despair,
"Touch me God, and let me know you are here."
Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man.
But, the man brushed the butterfly away .
 

and walked on.

I found this to be a great reminder that God is always around us in the little and

simple things that we take for granted ... even in our electronic age
So I would like to add one more:

The man cried,
"God, I need your help!"
And an e-mail arrived reaching out with good news and encouragement.

But, the man deleted it and continued crying .

Don't miss out on a blessing
because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.

My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted God to bless
and I picked you. Won't you please pass this to people you want to be blessed.

 

 

Inspirational Story About Two Friends

 

The Bear and the Two Travelers" Inspirational Story About Two Friends..

 
 
 Two men were traveling together, when a Bear suddenly met them on their path. One of them climbed up quickly into a tree and concealed himself in the branches.
 

The other, seeing that he must be attacked, fell flat on the ground, and when the Bear came up and felt him with his snout, and smelt him all over, he held his breath, and feigned the appearance of death as much as he could.
 

The Bear soon left him, for it is said he will not touch a dead body. When he was quite gone, the other Traveler descended from the tree, and jocularly inquired of his friend what it was the Bear had whispered in his ear. "He gave me this advice," his companion replied. "Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the approach of danger."
 

Lesson from The story:
 

Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the approach of danger.

 

 

attitude contributes to success

ACRES OF DIAMONDS


There was a farmer in Africa who was happy and content. He was happy because
he was content. He was content because he was happy. One day a wise man came
to him and told him about the glory of diamonds and the power that goes
along with them. The wise man said, "If you had a diamond the size of your
thumb, you could have your own city. If you had a diamond the size of your
fist, you could probably own your own country." And then he went away. That
night the farmer couldn't sleep. He was unhappy and he was discontent. He
was unhappy because he was discontent

and discontent because he was unhappy.


The next morning he made arrangements to sell off his farm, took care of his
family and went in search of diamonds. He looked all over Africa and
couldn't find any. He looked all through Europe and couldn't find any. When
he got to Spain, he was emotionally,
physically and financially broke. He got so disheartened that he threw
himself into the Barcelona River and committed suicide.



Back home, the person who had bought his farm was watering the camels at a
stream that ran through the farm.
Across the stream, the rays of the morning sun hit a stone and made it
sparkle like a rainbow. He thought it would look good on the mantle piece.
He picked up the stone and put it in the living room.



That afternoon the wise man came and
saw the stone sparkling. He asked, "Is Hafiz back?" The new owner said, "No,
why do you ask?" The wise man said, "Because that is a diamond. I recognize
one when I see one." The man said, no, that's just a stone I picked up from
the stream. Come, I'll show you. There are many more." They went and picked
some samples and sent them for analysis. Sure enough, the stones were
diamonds. They found that the farm was indeed
covered with acres and acres of diamonds.

* *

*What is the moral of this story?*



There are five morals:



1. When our attitude is right, we realize that we are all walking on acres
and acres of diamonds. Opportunity is always under our feet. We don't have
to go anywhere. All we need to do is recognize it.


2. The grass on the other side always looks greener.


3. While we are dyeing the grass on the other side, there are others who are
dyeing the grass on our side. They would be happy to trade places with us.


4. When people don't know how to recognize opportunity, they complain of
noise when it knocks.


5. The same opportunity never knocks twice. The next one may be better or
worse, but it is never the same one.



A study attributed to Harvard University found that when a person gets a
job, 85% of the time it is because of their attitude, and only 15% of the
time because of how smart they are and how many facts and figures they know.
Surprisingly, almost 100% of education dollars go to teach facts and figures
which account for only 15% of success in work!


--
If you can't be a pencil to write anyone's happiness, try at least to be a
nice rubber to erase everyone's sorrows....

When I was born I was given a choice of either being a brilliant lover or
having an amazing memory, unfortunately I forgot which one I chose.

I used to scintillate - now I sin 'til just half past three

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

 

 

WHY RATAN TATA IS NOT ON THE FORBES LIST

Here is a Real Story of Ratan Tata.
So many people around the world want to know that "What is the Net
Worth of Ratan Tata"?

TATA Group is running 96 businesses and out of which 28 Companies are
publically listed on the various stock exchanges.
Tata Group is world's top 50 Group according to Market capitalization
and Reputation.

Have you ever thought why Ratan Tata's name is not in the list of
billionaire's club? why Ratan Tata is not a billionaire on the Forbes
magazine list of billionaire people of the world?

The reason is that, TATA Group's 96 companies are held by its main
Company "TATA Sons" and the main owner of this TATA Sons is not Ratan
Tata but various charitable organizations developed and run by TATA
Group.

Out of which JRD TATA Trust & Sir Ratan Tata Trust are the main.
65% ownership of TATA Sons which is the key holding company of the
other 96 TATA Group Company is held by various charitable
organizations.

So this 65% ownership ownership of Tatasons Limited is not reflected
on Ratan Tata's personal Financial Statement but on the various
charitable organizations, and this is the reason why Ratan Tata is not
in the list of Billionaire club.

If we put this 65% ownership of Tata Sons in Ratan TATA's own personal
financial statement then Ratan Tata's Net worth will become more than $
70 billion. and that's much more than Warren Buffet's Current Net
Worth of $ 62 billion, the world's richest person according to Forbes
magazine 2008.

However, it doesn't mean that Ratan Tata is poor. In one interviews he
had told the reporter that, "I have my own Capital". He is the
chairman of Tata Group so obviously he earns lots of money every year
as bonus, remuneration and salary. However, Ratan Tata's Net worth
is not $ 1 Billion.

He is not a billionaire on paper, but in reality he is the richest
person in the world. His net worth in reality is more than Bill Gates
and Warren Buffet.
SO the good thing about Tata Group is that, They do Charity out of
their Money...

And that is the reason TATA Group has generated so much of Goodwill
over last 5 generations.

Incorrect place...

A Japanese family just arrived in the United states and stays at a
moderate hotel in New York. As they ride up the elevator to their
suite, a gentleman gets in at the next floor.

Stunned by the beauty of the Japanese daughter, the man tries to
communicate with her, only to find she speaks no English. Undeterred,
the man asks the father if he could take his daughter to dinner.
Having some English experience from his many business trips to the
states, the father communicates to the daughter and dinner plans are
made.

After dinner, they head up to his suite. Well, one thing leads to
another and as he starts going at it she starts moaning "Oshima!".
Believing this must mean she's getting into it, he thrusts harder and
harder and she is screaming "Oshima!, Oshima!!".

The next morning, the gentleman invites the father to a round of golf,
knowing how much the Japanese love the sport. On the first hole, the
father tees up, and nails a hole in one. Thinking quickly, the
gentleman yells out "Oshima!!".

The father, with a complexed look, turns to the man and says...

"What the hell do you mean wrong hole?!"

 

 

nicole_richie photoshoot

 

 

 

 

Lalu's Management Principles for Equity Investing.

 

Lalu's Management Principles for Equity Investing. 

1) We all purchase the vegetables & fruits of the season. For example, if it is the season of Tomatoes, we buy tomatoes more and not Brinjals. This way we get fresh tomatoes at a cheap price. Similarly, in Equities also, we should buy the Equities of the season. I mean equities plentily available in that season. If Banking Sector stocks are beaten down in a particular season, then we should buy banking stocks in that season. That way we get such banking stocks cheap and can cherry pick blue chips of Banking Sector at a cheap price (like fresh tomatoes for a cheap price in the season).

2) Growth is good and welcome at a young age. A child will be thrilled for growing-up. Growth is not so welcome at a middle age and old age. Middle & Old-aged people are scared of growing up and ageing. Before paying a fancy price for any stock for growth, you should consider this rustic rule. Only if the sector is in a nascent stage of growth and the child (company) is healthy, then only you should pay a high price for any growth stock.

3) Even if the tomatoes are fresh, cheap and plentily available in the season, we buy maximum a week's requirement or fortnight's appetite. If you buy more than your appetite (requirement), they will rot away. Similarly, in the stock market also, even if the shares are available cheap, you should not buy more than your appetite (pocket), by heavily leveraging. Otherwise, you will rot away.

4) While selecting a groom, the parents not only see the boy's earnings, but also his lineage, education, honesty etc., Similarly, while selecting a company for equity investment, we have to not only see its earnings (P/E ratio) but also see its lineage (promoters), its education (corporate governance) and its honesty (fair sharing of riches with all the stakeholders) etc.,

 

 

 

Poetic Resignation very very funny

Poetic Resignation
 

Employee Resignation   
------------ ---

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig

The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.

To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say

My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.
The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age

This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate

Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!

The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk

That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.

I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace

I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess

No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay.   

Thanks & Regards
Employee   

------------ ---
Manager Response
------------ ---

Reply: What I want to say? (Manager)

The decision is good or decision is bad
Only God knows still I am glad

Keep moving in life that is what I can say

If you feel right go in the same way
May god give you the work, the challenge you want

Anyway there is always a second chance
Chances are there, grab them snatch them

That is what I can say

Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more....
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)

From my experience I can tell you
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you

You are frustrated since you have no quality work
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work

It's always like that previous job was better than the current one
And expects the new job will be much better than this one

But what you get is a frustration level up to sun
Than you will again send the resignation like this one

This is all what I want to say

Have you completed all the formalities?
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)

Once done you can take all your cash
But don't refer others as they will follow you're a*s.

At last I appreciate your contribution to the company
Even though there was not any....

You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI
Don't feel shy

As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi....
That is all what I want to say.   

Thanks & Regards
Manager

 

 

ALL THE COLORS OF RAINBOW COOOL SOTRY READ THIS

Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel:
all claimed that they were the best, the most important, the
most useful, the favorite.

GREEN said: "Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign
of life and of hope. I was chosen for [...]

Continue Reading.....

'State Trooper'

A WV. State Trooper was patrolling State RT. 10 in Logan County , whenhe notices a car puttering along at 10 mph. He thinksto himself, ‘this driver is as dangerous as a speeder!’ So he turns onhis lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he noticesthat there are five elderly ladies - two in the front seat and threein the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, ‘Officer, I don’tunderstand. I was going the exact posted speed limit.What seems to be the problem?’
The trooper, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that 10 wasthe route number, not the speed limit.......

Continue Reading ..

'What Baby are you'

Jan
———— —JANUARY BABY——– ——— —Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored.Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time toRecover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth.Stubborn. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meetSomeone new in 8 days that will perfectly balanceYour personality.

Feb
———-FEBRUARY BABY ———— ——–Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract.Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone.Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. HonestAnd loyal. Determined to reach goals. LovesFreedom. Rebellious when restricted. LovesAggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.Gets angry really easily but does not show it.Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friendsBut rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on theInside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someoneNew and realize that you are a perfect match.

Mar
———— —–MARCH BABY ———— ——–Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy andReserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generousAnd sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.

Continue Reading