great magicians

great magicians
Three world famous magicians were in the bar drinking and boasting abouttheir achievements.
The first one said," During my latest show, I made three women from theaudience disappear, it was so convincing that their relatives startedpanicking, no one could find the trick"
The second one said, " Hey, that is nothing, during one of my open airshows I made the Municipality building disappear and the entire town wassearching for it"
The third one sighed and said," Both of you are so local, I went to Parisand made the Eiffel Tower disappear for a full one hour, it was live on theTV, entire France was searching for the building & no one had a clue".
Just then an Indian walked into the bar and the three magicians suddenlyturned quiet, gave each other fugitive glances and started to slip towardsthe door.
A Bartender watching this got curious and asked one of the magicians, "Heywhat happened ? Who is that guy ? "
One of the magicians whispered, " He is the World's greatest magician, hehas done the biggest disappearing trick of all times, we are all mereamateurs compared with what he has done. His name is Ramalinga Raju. He hasmade USD 1.5 billion disappear from his company's balance sheet in front ofeveryone's eyes, and the entire world is still looking for it "

Incorrect place...

A Japanese family just arrived in the United states and stays at a
moderate hotel in New York. As they ride up the elevator to their
suite, a gentleman gets in at the next floor.

Stunned by the beauty of the Japanese daughter, the man tries to
communicate with her, only to find she speaks no English. Undeterred,
the man asks the father if he could take his daughter to dinner.
Having some English experience from his many business trips to the
states, the father communicates to the daughter and dinner plans are
made.

After dinner, they head up to his suite. Well, one thing leads to
another and as he starts going at it she starts moaning "Oshima!".
Believing this must mean she's getting into it, he thrusts harder and
harder and she is screaming "Oshima!, Oshima!!".

The next morning, the gentleman invites the father to a round of golf,
knowing how much the Japanese love the sport. On the first hole, the
father tees up, and nails a hole in one. Thinking quickly, the
gentleman yells out "Oshima!!".

The father, with a complexed look, turns to the man and says...

"What the hell do you mean wrong hole?!"

 

 

nicole_richie photoshoot

 

 

 

 

Lalu's Management Principles for Equity Investing.

 

Lalu's Management Principles for Equity Investing. 

1) We all purchase the vegetables & fruits of the season. For example, if it is the season of Tomatoes, we buy tomatoes more and not Brinjals. This way we get fresh tomatoes at a cheap price. Similarly, in Equities also, we should buy the Equities of the season. I mean equities plentily available in that season. If Banking Sector stocks are beaten down in a particular season, then we should buy banking stocks in that season. That way we get such banking stocks cheap and can cherry pick blue chips of Banking Sector at a cheap price (like fresh tomatoes for a cheap price in the season).

2) Growth is good and welcome at a young age. A child will be thrilled for growing-up. Growth is not so welcome at a middle age and old age. Middle & Old-aged people are scared of growing up and ageing. Before paying a fancy price for any stock for growth, you should consider this rustic rule. Only if the sector is in a nascent stage of growth and the child (company) is healthy, then only you should pay a high price for any growth stock.

3) Even if the tomatoes are fresh, cheap and plentily available in the season, we buy maximum a week's requirement or fortnight's appetite. If you buy more than your appetite (requirement), they will rot away. Similarly, in the stock market also, even if the shares are available cheap, you should not buy more than your appetite (pocket), by heavily leveraging. Otherwise, you will rot away.

4) While selecting a groom, the parents not only see the boy's earnings, but also his lineage, education, honesty etc., Similarly, while selecting a company for equity investment, we have to not only see its earnings (P/E ratio) but also see its lineage (promoters), its education (corporate governance) and its honesty (fair sharing of riches with all the stakeholders) etc.,

 

 

 

Poetic Resignation very very funny

Poetic Resignation
 

Employee Resignation   
------------ ---

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig

The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.

To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say

My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.
The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age

This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate

Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!

The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk

That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.

I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace

I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess

No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay.   

Thanks & Regards
Employee   

------------ ---
Manager Response
------------ ---

Reply: What I want to say? (Manager)

The decision is good or decision is bad
Only God knows still I am glad

Keep moving in life that is what I can say

If you feel right go in the same way
May god give you the work, the challenge you want

Anyway there is always a second chance
Chances are there, grab them snatch them

That is what I can say

Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more....
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)

From my experience I can tell you
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you

You are frustrated since you have no quality work
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work

It's always like that previous job was better than the current one
And expects the new job will be much better than this one

But what you get is a frustration level up to sun
Than you will again send the resignation like this one

This is all what I want to say

Have you completed all the formalities?
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)

Once done you can take all your cash
But don't refer others as they will follow you're a*s.

At last I appreciate your contribution to the company
Even though there was not any....

You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI
Don't feel shy

As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi....
That is all what I want to say.   

Thanks & Regards
Manager

 

 

'State Trooper'

A WV. State Trooper was patrolling State RT. 10 in Logan County , whenhe notices a car puttering along at 10 mph. He thinksto himself, ‘this driver is as dangerous as a speeder!’ So he turns onhis lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he noticesthat there are five elderly ladies - two in the front seat and threein the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, ‘Officer, I don’tunderstand. I was going the exact posted speed limit.What seems to be the problem?’
The trooper, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that 10 wasthe route number, not the speed limit.......

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